A Lesson Well Learned

I just cried.

"Krystle stop it, right now!" yelled Mrs. Heller as she walked swiftly across the room.

I looked into Mrs. Heller's gray eyes as if she was a savior that had come to deliver me.  Both Krystle and I stood staring at Mrs. Heller waiting for the next words to come out of her mouth.
And sure enough, she said, "What is going on here girls?"

"She choaked me." I whimpered, pushing out the words through my crying eyes.
I thought for sure that Mrs. Heller would assume that this confrontation was surely a result of my inability to play cooperatively with other students. Several thoughts ran through my mind, "What will I say if she calls my mother? Should I lie and say it was her fault? Will anyone else want to play with me tomorrow? Will she get in trouble too?"

That morning after singing "The Alphabet Song" as Mrs. Heller melodically played each key on the piano, we went back to our groups and practiced tracing letters on large pieces of paper with lines. I was so proud of myself because among all of the people in my group, I was able to trace the lines best!

Seeing how nicely the group I was in was working together, Mrs. Heller came and observed carefully the teamwork that we showed. I would help other students who were having trouble staying within the lines, just as other students would show me a better way to trace the letters. We were learning together, all was happy in room 29. Or so I thought.

Little did I know, there were other groups who were not working so well together. I did not know this until Mrs. Heller began to wrap up this activity harmonically saying, "It's almost play time. Some groups were working better today than others, so I am going to mix and match groups of students to see if we can play more cooperatively."

I immediately closed my eyes softly and prayed that I would be assigned to the kitchen area. Playing house was one of my favorite things to do. I often played a game called "Big Mama" with my cousins and my friends. "Big Mama" was a game where one person was the mother of the house and the rest of us were her children.  Sometimes, if there was a boy playing we would choose him to play the role of father. but, most of the time it was just "Big Mama" and her children. I loved playing the role of Big Mama. I often liked to be in charge. Even though, I was in charge I was always fair to the kids. I was a good Mama!

"Shantel, you will play with Krystle, Sarah, Nicole, Lindsay, and Danielle in the kitchen area." I opened my eyes in relief. But wait, WHO did she say I would play with? All I heard was Shantel and play area. That's it. So, when we all got to the play area, I released a deep sigh. There she was-- Krystle O'Sullivan, the infamous Krystle O'Sullivan, the girl who played well with no one. Honestly, I think she is the real reason why Mrs. Heller rearranged the play groups today. I knew I could handle her though. I played well with everyone.

"I want to be the mom!" Krystle barked at Sarah, Nicole, Lindsay, Danielle, and me! Who was she talking to like that? Everyone knew that I was going to be mom! I am always the mom!  I was the best person to be the mama!  Who does she think she is, coming in to MY play group and making unreasonable demands?

I began to lose confidence. I had a feeling coming from deep within that I was not going to be able to play well with her. I did not even want to think her name, in my thoughts I kept saying, "her, her, her, her, her, her, her, HER!"

All the other girls were just standing there, accepting this nonsense! Tired of listening to HER rant on about how she was in charge, I blurted out, "I am the mother and that's it!" Somehow, I knew from the abrupt way she turned to me with the infuriated look her eyes that I said the wrong words. But, I didn't care. I was going to get my way, even if it meant that I needed to be scared when I would ride my bike past her house in the future.

"Krystle stop it, right now!" yelled Mrs. Heller as she walked swiftly across the room.

That's right! Krystle had her small, clammy, sticky hands wrapped firmly around my neck. It all happened so fast. All I knew is that I was relieved to hear Mrs. Heller's voice. Usually her voice was very calm and melodic, but at that moment, her voice had an unusual urgency. "What is going on here girls?"

Krystle loosened her slippery grip and flopped her hands down to her sides and full of shame rose her big brown eyes to the teacher.  I stood silently staring deep into Mrs. Heller's soft gray eyes.  The only noise in the classroom at this point, were the erratic sounds of my uncontrolled sobbing.  Otherwise, you could have heard a pin drop.

"What will I say if she calls my mother? Should I lie and say it was her fault? Will anyone else want to play with me tomorrow? Will she get in trouble too?"

What happened next surprised me.  Mrs. Heller grabbed my hands that were wet from tears and guided me over to her big, teacher chair. Returning to her peaceful tone of voice, she instructed the rest of the class to gather around and sit in a circle. I know now, being a teacher myself, that this would have been called a "teachable moment."  The best way to describe a teachable moment is a quote that I once heard many years later. My memory fails me as to the author. But, here goes:

"Experience and learning seems to happen in fits, stops, and starts. Sometimes it seems one is going nowhere or even backwards. Other times there is steady plodding progress.  And yet other times seem to be peak learning moments, when everything comes together. Such crescendo learning moments are often very memorable. As people look back over their lives they often note their watershed learning experiences--their first kiss, love, death, achievements, etc.

As for this teachable moment, it clearly was about sharing and respect for other people. I think the whole class learned an important lesson that day. Thanks to me! I guess.

This happened a long time ago, and I can not lie and say I remember the exact words that were said once I got comfortable on Mrs. Heller's lap.  What I do remember, however, is that she didn't even mention the squabble between Krystle and I. She had more respect for us both, as individuals, than to highlight our faults. Instead, she talked about how wonderful a person I was and what a great family I had the opportunity to grow up in.  She taught the class that sometimes good people, who have good intentions, make mistakes--make wrong decisions.

"Today, Shantel made a poor decision because she would not compromise, but that doesn't make her a bad person," I can remember her explaining.

You know what. She was right. I have never forgotten that lesson a day in my life. People make mistakes. It does not mean that they should be shunned or shouldn't be forgiven. People make bad decisions sometimes. The important part is learning from those decisions, having your own private teachable moment.

People make mistakes sometimes.  That's just how life is.